Ever found yourself waiting for that one last conversation? The explanation that would finally make sense of it all? The apology that would fix everything?
Yeah. Same.
But here’s the hard truth: closure is a self-given gift, not something you “get” from someone else.
The Myth of Closure
If closure were a person, it would be that flaky friend who always says, “We should totally catch up soon!”—but never actually does.
We want to believe that if we just get answers, we’ll feel better. But most of the time, the truth won’t change anything. Even if they told you “why,” would it actually heal the hurt?
Probably not.
Because what we really crave isn’t closure—it’s control.
We think that understanding why someone treated us a certain way will help us prevent it from happening again. But real security doesn’t come from answers—it comes from knowing you’ll be okay no matter what.
And guess what? Some people intentionally leave things open-ended.
Ghosting: The Classic Avoidant Tactic
Ever notice how some people vanish without a word, only to reappear months later with a casual, “Hey, how have you been?”
That’s not just emotional immaturity—it’s a strategy.
Fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant types love to ghost because it keeps the door open. If they never officially end things, they get to maintain control. They can breadcrumb their way back whenever they want, testing if you’re still emotionally available.
Sound familiar?
Once you recognize this, it becomes so much easier to say, “No thanks, I’ll be closing this door myself.” 🚪
My Story: Learning to Be My Own Closure
Let me tell you—I’ve lived this lesson.
First, it was my ex-husband of 25 years, who ghosted me when I tried to handle our divorce like adults. One day, he was there. The next? Gone. No communication, no accountability, and barely any support for our teenage sons.
I begged for answers. I tried to fix things. And then I realized—I was waiting for closure that would never come.
So, I gave it to myself.
Then came my long-distance love in Morocco—the one who swore he’d never treat me like my ex did. “Man’s honor,” he said.
Guess what? After six months of daily contact, he ghosted, too. The one thing he promised not to do—he did. And once again, I was left questioning my self-worth.
But this time, I got the lesson.
I realized: I don’t need their words to move on—I choose to move on.
How to Give Yourself Closure
Ready to reclaim your power? Try this:
✨ Mirror Work: Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I set myself free.” Say it like you mean it. Say it until you feel it.
📖 Journaling Prompt: Write this down: What lesson did this situation teach me? How can I rewrite my own ending? Instead of waiting for someone else to close the chapter, you take the pen back.
💥 Power Statement: “I don’t chase closure. I choose peace.” Screenshot it. Make it your wallpaper. Repeat it daily.
Final Thoughts: Be Your Own Damn Closure
You deserve peace. You deserve happiness. You don’t need an apology to move on.
If they ghosted you, betrayed you, or left you questioning your worth—that silence is your answer.
Take back your power. Close the door yourself.
And as always—Extra Rainbow Sparkles Upon You! 🌈✨ And Good Vibes Only. 💖
//Angelina Mi Lajki
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